So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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