I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
