We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
3pm strippers are depressing
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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