operation harelip BJ is a go
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
