I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
