Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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