ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize