Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
