Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
