If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize