I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
