You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
