Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
