I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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