meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
pray to the hookup gods
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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