to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
