I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
