Whod you bang
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
