He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
