you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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