Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
wanna go halves on a baby?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
