im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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