My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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