paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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