false alarm. still invincible.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
