yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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