i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
