I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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