You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
