Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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