Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize