Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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