ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
