did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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