My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
