Rock
Scissors
Fuck
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
