if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
high people should be assigned attendants
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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