Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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