oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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