i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm always down for nudity.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
