My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
