one two three fourrrrnication!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize