and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
