billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
