One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you would pick up someone in the library
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
