As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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