yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
