my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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