perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
