I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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