i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
