Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
