i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
