WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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