my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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