Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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