I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
