so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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