physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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